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The Upside of Getting Shot By the Vice President
by Carol Denney; published March 2006
1. Everybody learns your name.
2. Free ambulance ride.
3. Sudden ability to empathize with quail.
4. Get well card from Cheney worth lots on EBay.
5. Doctors try even harder to make sure you don’t die.
6. Guaranteed ticket to the next Republican inaugural ball.
7. Lengthy, luxurious hospital stay on White House tab.
8. Get well card from the NRA worth lots on EBay.
9. No one expects you to contribute to the Republican Party anymore.
10. Cheney shuts up.
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